In Search of a New Normal...Part 1

We are getting closer to "normal."  

Girls scope out their new campus.

Jenna and Heather started school on Monday, Jan. 21st with a mixture of enthusiasm and trepidation.  It's their 3rd school in the last 12 months, but thankfully it should become "normal" for them during these next 4 years.  We took a tour of the campus the previous week, being led around by the gentle-spirited principal that both girls agree, "is so much like Aunt Kristin."  The first week was as hectic as we expected, with the girls getting accustomed to a new school, new teachers, and a techno-centric new "system" for communication and tracking assignments.

The "Aunt Kristin" principal, Mrs. Tanya Hall.

The girls now walk 20 minutes to a train station, take a commuter train a handful of stops, then disembark and walk another 10 minutes to their school.  We accompanied them the first two days, giving them less assistance each trip so that they learned the routine for themselves.  On day 3, Stew and I had a morning appointment that we could not get out of, so the girls ventured out on their own -- and they did it!  





On day 4, Jenna's homeroom was scheduled to conduct a homeless outreach at a major railway station in Tokyo.  We bought meals and drinks for the homeless who sleep in the train station overnight.  Each student brought and handed out 3 meals to various men, some who were bundled up and sleeping on their cardboard box, others who were already disassembling their bed for the day.  




The Tokyo police allow these homeless men to sleep in the interior corridors that link several train and subway lines -- space that is even kept heated during the night hours.  The only stipulation is that they vacate the corridor by 7:00 a.m. as the morning commuter rush begins.  This meant we woke up at 4:30 a.m., took the train to the station to arrive at 6:00, and handed out our meals before the 7:00 a.m. moratorium.  Afterward, we commuted back to school and were treated to a breakfast of pancakes and sausage, served by the school's Honor Society. 

Word gets around when the kids come bearing breakfast.  In one instance, a homeless man ran up to one of the parents, pointing back at his friend who'd received a meal, and asking (hopefully) whether there was one for him, too!


Stew and I passed through this same train station a couple of hours later.  Nobody would guess that the corridor served as sleeping quarters for homeless men, based on what you saw at 9:00 a.m.   It looked like a typical Japanese subway crossing:  immaculate, orderly, crammed with commuters, with the distinct feel of cool, conditioned air blowing overhead.

Wanna See our House?

Winding Staircase!

Our "Great Room" downstairs

Some of you might be interested to see how we're living during these early days in Japan.  Most of you know that we will be extremely well outfitted here in a couple of months, when our U.S.-purchased furniture makes its way here aboard a container ship.  For now, though, it's time to show you some "before" photos.

Our house, 2 floors' worth!

The rooms are furnished with borrowed curtains and rented furniture.  Seeing as we've just "weathered" Tokyo's first blizzard in 40 years, we are very grateful for the curtains...even if they are pink in some rooms.

Master BR 

Girls' BR -- sufficiently "lived in"

The kitchen is much, much more than we were expecting.  In China we started with bare walls and a naked shelf that contained a sink and a primitive cooktop.  Needless to say, the average Chinese kitchen needed a lot of upgrading.  

Here, though, we walked into a galley-shaped kitchen with cabinets and a sink big enough to bathe your baby!  The entire left wall contains floor-ceiling cabinets and a (rented) fridge.



One of two "thrones" is pictured below, along with the "Control Panel" on the left side of the toilet.   Not only do we have heated toilet seats here (!)  we have the option of bidet spray or "hiney spray" to clean off oneself after doing one's business!  Who'd 'a thunk it!

The toilet occupies a closet all its own.

Would it be too much to add that the water "spray" is heated as well?

 And last, but not least, the showering/tubbing room.  Think of a sauna-sized bath room where one first showers, then steps into a tub filled with water up to your armpits to soak away the cares of the day.  This is clearly Lissa's favorite feature of our new home.

Lissa's favorite:  the deep soaking tub.

The apartment may seem "spartan" but we realize that to live from day to day, very simple furnishings are more than adequate.  A place to sleep, a place to eat, a place to prepare food and bathe.  Nobody really needs more than this, right?

Remind us of this in a couple of months when we're squeezing all of our new furniture into this cozy living space.

In Over our Heads

This celebrity came through Haneda
 airport just hours ahead of us.

We arrived safely in Tokyo, Japan after a blessed uneventful 14.5-hour flight from New York's JFK airport.   These trans-oceanic flights are grueling any way you look at them.  We were grateful to fly on American Airlines this time around, because the girls whiled away the hours playing games on the seat-back entertainment systems (something we did not have on the last trans-oceanic flight, aboard a Chinese airliner.)

Immigration and customs are a chore, and yet as we passed through immigration at Haneda airport, we emerged with our Japan residence cards...eliminating a lengthy errand from an even more lengthy list of must-do items for the newly arrived.  


We are starting over.  Starting over usually means you start small and build up, and that's our story this time around.  Our apartment is sparsely furnished with temporary bedding,  a dining room table, and small couch.  We eat using borrowed dishes and utensils, and dry off with hand-me-down towels after bathing.  Our pantry contains at most a 2-day supply of groceries, since we are still discovering the local markets and stores.

Before you feel too sorry over this "minimalist" existence, I must add that Stew is posting regularly on Facebook, and Lissa on this blog, thanks to a tethered connection to Stew's I-phone (version 5).  We are, after all, carving out our new existence in Techno-Mecca!

The Apple Store in
Shibuya, Tokyo.

Jenna and Heather are sailing through these early days like champs.  They haven't complained about sleeping on the floor on the thin futons.  They are gamely sampling Japanese food everywhere we go, and they eagerly anticipate a visit to their new school where they start class on Jan. 21st.  They did suffer a dose of jet lag, waking up at 4:00 a.m. on the second day here, but they slept in until 8:00 the third morning and have been fine ever since.

We hit the ground running, eager to explore our new city.  Each day we've gone out to try something new, and to get more items checked off of that list.  After obtaining refillable bus and train cards, we've ridden both, including taking the train into downtown Tokyo.  The challenge of getting around a new city energizes us.  It also meant we made a couple of missteps in the train station, heading down a corridor toward the subway instead of the light rail.  Our cards suddenly activated an angry-sounding "reject" beep, which stopped us cold.  We uttered a sheepish "Sumi masen" ("I'm sorry") to the Japanese gate guard, and he cleared our malfunctioning cards so that we could continue on our way....the right way.

Enjoying Sukiyaki and other traditional Japanese favorites

Tokyo has a bit of a Hong Kong-feel to it, which makes our newest landing pad seem "familiar enough" without intimidating us.   We are having fun observing our new surroundings through the lens of 8 years of life on Mainland China.  We must definitely make some adjustments before we run afoul of Japan's Politeness Protocol.  For example, cell phones are turned on "silent" on trains and public buses.  Riders as well are nearly silent during their commutes, and Jenna has chided us more than once for talking too loud.  

We have seen more Starbucks coffee shops in 5 days than we did in 8 years in China.  The streets are immaculate.  Curious locals will discreetly peer at us (and turn away if spotted), compared to the wide-eyed gaping and gawking of the mainlanders.  We are slowly learning how to separate our trash into 3 separate bins for recycling, instead of tossing it all into one bag for the neighborhood trash collectors to sort through.  The pigeons here are very plump and healthy, instead of being served up on a mainlander's dinner plate.

We are also very weary and tired.  The initial days/weeks in a new country are exhausting as we find ourselves overwhelmed by the responsibilities of starting over.  We are truly "in over our heads",  and yet we couldn't be happier.   

A Timely Death?

Stew's dad, C.J. Roberson, 81, passed away on the morning of Christmas Eve.   Although he had recently suffered a debilitating stroke, none of us saw this coming.  All of our attention had been focused on his recovery; we'd even set January 2nd as a target date for C.J. to be discharged from the rehab facility to go home.  To our bewilderment, C.J. went "home" several days earlier than we were expecting, and it was to his heavenly destination rather than to his modest brick house set among the pines and azaleas of  lower Alabama.

I broke the news to our daughters and their immediate reaction was tearful. Jenna and Heather had seen Papa over Thanksgiving and had told him good-bye, fully expecting to see him again.  Death wasn't in their plans.  I consoled the girls with the biblical truth that God ordains the number of our days even before our birth ( a la Psalm 139), and so they didn't have to tell themselves that Papa died because he wasn't eating enough at mealtimes.  Though they agreed with this in their heads, their hearts still broke with fresh sorrow over the realization that Papa was gone.

We attended Christmas Eve services that afternoon, and during the assembly a handful of children were baptized.  I thought to myself, "The whole significance of baptism is for days just like today, when I'm struggling with death and loss."  C.J. had made his peace with Jesus while in his sixties, and it had changed his life.  Now in death, it changed how we thought about losing him.  He was spending Christmas Eve with the Babe in the manger, not in a sterile hospital room.  Stew and I found ourselves relieved, seeing C.J.'s passage as merciful release from a body condemned by old age and infirmity.

Leslie and her fiance, Josiah were spending Christmas with us this year, thus Papa's death injected an unforeseen wrinkle into our holiday plans.  We thought we would spend this Christmas getting acquainted in the context of meals, forays to our country property, video game sessions and other relaxing activities.  None of us dreamed that Josiah's introduction to our family would come by way of the crucible of death and burial.  And yet, Josiah and Leslie both agreed that they wanted to accompany us on the hastily organized 500-mile trip to bury Papa.

We departed a couple of days after Christmas and stayed through New Year's Day.  Our family of six stayed with Stew's cousin Jeff, who along with his wife Bonnie, curtailed their own Christmas visit with the grandkids in Orlando, Florida, to hurry home and host us.  

Saturday found our families gathered at First Presbyterian Church for the memorial service, which was well attended by friends and relatives.  Stew, along with his brother, nephew, and 2 cousins took turns speaking about their father/uncle/granddad.  Lissa sang a duet of "The Old Rugged Cross", C.J.'s favorite hymn, and another cousin sang the Navy hymn in honor of C.J's 28 years of military service.  We all comforted one another with loving and mostly entertaining memories of C.J. for hours after the service concluded.

On New Year's Eve, C.J. was buried with full military honors at Barrancas Cemetery located on NAS Pensacola.  He shares a gravesite with his infant son, Steven, who died at birth in 1957.

Was this a "timely death", we ask.  Is death ever "timely?"  From the perspective of our off-beat missionary minds, the answer is a definite YES.   We have embraced a lifestyle which places us on the opposite hemisphere for years at a time.   At this point we are only a handful of days away from shipping off to Japan, for what will likely be a four year absence.  If C.J. had slipped away from us during 2013, only one of the six of us would have attended his funeral -- Stew, who would have had to fly back from Japan alone.  Instead, we all enjoyed the privilege of witnessing C.J.'s  memorial and funeral.  Having viewed his ashes placed in the grave first-hand, our family enjoys closure in remembering a very loving man, a devoted husband and father.

Sands in the Hourglass

Days till our departure are melting into mere hours.  We fly out of the U.S. in five days, concluding what has been an exceptional, fulfilling, and mind-boggling 8-month furlough.  For you numbers-lovers, we made 2 trips to Virginia, 4 trips to the Gulf coast and 6 total into Alabama, 1 trip each to South Carolina and Texas, and 10,000 miles added onto the trusty Manna van's odometer.  We've spoken at 5 conferences and at least 18 churches, some on multiple occasions.

For the event-trackers, we've packed in a college graduation, a wedding, a week of summer camp (kids) and beach vacation (parents), 2 medical emergency trips, Creation Museum visit, a thorough ADHD/ medication/Occupational Therapy assessment, a semester of  middle school, Seminary, Japanese language study, root canals and crowned teeth, new glasses for children, a 12.5 acre land purchase...you get the picture.  The pace has been dizzying as we have compressed seeming years of activity into a handful of months.

December fell into a category all its own.  We'd expected to spend December resting leisurely with family during the holidays, but God used an untimely death to interrupt our plans.  That will have to be saved for another post.

December also found us sorting, packing and purging for the move.  By mid-December we'd separated out two suitcases apiece of clothing and essentials, then packed the lion's share to be shipped in a crate to Japan, to be seen sometime in March.  Movers came to the house and picked up boxes containing everything from bed linens to kitchen utensils to spices and bathroom towels, things we bought to replace the household furnishings we'd abandoned when we left China.  The movers then drove to a furniture store that warehoused our future home, rumbling off hours later with beds, tables, dressers, living room chair, couch, and media cabinets. 

God amazed us with His provision.  We began our furlough with an "empty" 1000 cubic foot crate and a promise for its contents to be shipped to Japan.  The burden fell on us to fill the crate during our 8 months in the U.S.  It has been a thrill to watch God, our provider, come through for us to the degree that we were actually concerned about our belongings exceeding the 1000 cu. foot allowance! 

Is this not a testimony to God showing up in a challenging circumstance?  This is also a moving testimony of God answering prayers that many of you have lifted on our behalf, because you appreciate the challenges we faced in starting over, yet again. To those who provided materially for our move, we are humbled and grateful.  From our hearts, we thank you and praise God for you! 

Getting Closer....

 As of now we are days away from receiving medical clearance to return to the field.  The girls have been interviewed and formally accepted for enrollment at the Christian Academy in Japan.  Yesterday we set the date for the movers to gather our stuff to "crate" overseas, and today we got word that an apartment has been found in the suburbs of  Tokyo.  The tide is certainly pulling us toward Japan.

Fall months have been filled with off-to-school early mornings, mid-morning trips to the gym, hectic homework afternoons/evenings, and a myriad of doctor appointments. Heather has patiently endured her "lab rat" season being assessed, tested, medicated, and re-assessed, as we get a handle on her personalized blend of ADHD.  We feel like we've finally arrived at the right remedy, which is medication-free and activity-intense.  Picture Heather rolling back and forth on an oversized yoga ball as she recites vocabulary definitions, and you'll know what we mean.

Future House Site

Our land, from the roadside

While stateside, we held out hope that we could explore opportunities to buy land here in Middle Tennessee, with an eye toward our eventual retirement.  God answered -- in fact, he surprised our socks off!  A local realtor took us out to look at land, and within 3 hours' time, we found a parcel of acreage that we knew we couldn't pass up.  12.5 acres set on a wooded hillside.  One step off a county road, lie 2 pastures separated by a creek bed.  From there one slowly climbs up a hillside to a clearing that's perfect for a house.  The  remaining property is wooded all the way up to a ridge line.  Not far from the house site sits a pond, which on that day was surrounded by fresh deer tracks.  As we explored the property, we startled a flock of wild turkeys that immediately launched into flight, and Stew knew we'd found the right piece of land.  The owners offered private financing, which is "huge" because as ex-pats we don't get loans easily when we don't have a stateside geographic address to provide to the bank.  

Fellow Cookie Monsters

Now with the holiday season in full swing, we want to maximize family time and focus on "leaving well."  We spent Thanksgiving in coastal Alabama with Stew's parents.  His dad, C.J. (81) suffered a stroke in early November and was recovering in a rehab center near home, so we made daily or twice-daily trips to visit him, in and around Thanksgiving dinners and birthday celebrations.  Stew's mother, Marge has been recovering from her own spate of medical setbacks, and now faces a role reversal as she becomes C.J.'s caregiver.  They can certainly use our prayers in the coming months.  During Thanksgiving, we did not visit a single "Black Friday" sale.  Instead, we spent our time with Papa and with extended family, knowing that this visit would have to "last us" for the long haul.

We anticipate Christmas with excitement since we'll have all four daughters, a son in-law and another "serious" boyfriend under our roof for several days.  Expect a lot of talking, laughter, eating, and we hope, some serious future planning during this family visit.  The adult "kids" have not seen our land yet, so we look forward to introducing them to the family property.  Stephanie and Ben only have a few days with us since her vacation time is being split between our family and Ben's.  Leslie and her boyfriend, Josiah, have a more open-ended timetable, so we will invite them to stay with us as long as they wish, up to our final day in country.  We expect to fly to Tokyo by the first week of  January.

Blessings to you this Christmas!  May you spend it with the people you love most, doing things that fill your heart with meaning and purpose.  We will post here again after the new year, possibly from Japan!

In Between Two Worlds

We're now over halfway through our stateside assignment.  During our initial  months, we were fully absorbed in "being here" in the U.S.  We made two trips to the Gulf Coast to check in on Stew's parents.  Stew's mother was in pitiful shape when we saw her in early May.  She had been unable to eat for 3 solid weeks and was barely coherent.  Stew took her to the E.R. for treatment, while Lissa stayed back at the house and cleaned.  We saw them a second time in July, and she was looking somewhat better.  She'd fallen multiple times, and we discovered that her medications for high blood pressure and diabetes had not been adjusted, though she'd lost 80 lbs.  She switched to a new doctor who immediately curtailed all of her medications, and she subsequently regained her appetite, slept less, and acted more fully engaged in her world around her.  We were extremely grateful to have returned to the States at such a critical and needful time.

Stew walks Stephanie down the "aisle"

We also drove twice to Virginia for family visits/college graduation/wedding, and again for meetings and vacation.  We have spoken at several conferences, both here in Middle Tennessee and elsewhere in the Southeast.  Brief days or weeks of respite in between trips have been equally filled and fulfilling.  Doctor's appointments, frequent visits to the gym, trips to our friend's furniture store, Japanese language lessons on summer afternoons.  As you can see, we have spent very little time "sitting around" looking for something to do.  We relish these months, indulging ourselves in all of the comforts that we'd craved over the years in Asia.

I sensed a definite "shift" in our mental outlook sometime during mid-September.  Our activities switched from being entirely U.S.-focused to straddling both the U.S. and Japan.  These days, Jenna and Heather arise at 6:00 a.m. to catch a 6:45 a.m. bus to middle school.  They have become entirely self-sufficient in their early morning routine, waking up to their own alarm, fixing their own breakfast, and carrying lunches that they prepared the night before.  This new routine not only teaches them responsibility for today, it also prepares them for "tomorrow" when their daily routine will include a commute by train to and from their international school, the Christian Academy of Japan (CAJ).

Stew and I go out shopping at least twice per week, and every shopping excursion nowadays seems to be oriented towards Japan.  Grocery trips alternate with shopping errands to upgrade wardrobes that had grown a bit ragged after several years.  Our clothing purchases anticipate a shift from a sub-tropical climate in a very casual society, to a cooler and more temperate climate in a society that values dress and appearance.   We've purchased household electronics and kitchen appliances for our future home, since these purchases are much less expensive at U.S. prices than they are at current Japanese prices.  Our friend's furniture store now warehouses several rooms' worth of furniture that we have systematically ordered over the months, for our still-to-come Japanese apartment.

Furniture we've ordered for our apartment in Japan

One moment we are signing assignment books for the girls' homework, and the next moment we are scanning application forms to email to the admissions counselor at CAJ.  Mornings often find Stew filling out expense reports from the previous weekend's speaking engagement, while he spends the afternoon meeting with our pastor, obtaining a letter of recommendation to send out to the Japan Baptist Mission.  Both past and future co-exist within the activities of today.  

In these temporary circumstances, it would be easy to overlook opportunities to be fully engaged in the present.  We make a special effort to connect with local friends while we are here to enjoy them, inviting friends over for dinner and visiting with them at their homes.  We participate fully in the life of our home church, attending Sunday school, Sunday worship and Wednesday night Bible study.  We talk regularly on the phone with our parents and family members, as well as with Stephanie and Leslie.  All because we can...because we are here on U.S. soil for a brief season....and because these are the things we will miss, once we head back across the Pacific for our next assignment.